This summer vacation, having Haruto-kun come for the housekeeping service, felt like days that made my heart leap the whole time. I fell in love with him, and every day was fun and exciting. I made a lot of memories with Haruto-kun this summer vacation. Movies, the zoo, barbecue, a date, and camping. All the time I spent with him was truly fun… That’s why, maybe I misunderstood… Surely Haruto-kun was enjoying himself too. Every time the time we spent together piled up, my feelings for Harutokun grew bigger, and perhaps, Haruto-kun felt the same way as me… But it seems I was wrong… I got carried away all by myself… For Haruto-kun, I was just a ‘customer’ of the housekeeping service, wasn’t I… “Haa…” That’s right. If a mere customer tried to kiss him, it’s natural for him to run away… My heart, which had been floating as if it would fly off somewhere because I was in love, took a complete turn, and with a heavy feeling as if I was sinking into the ground, I operated my smartphone and opened the messaging app. I opened the chat with Saki Aizawa displayed and tapped the call button. “Hello, hello. What’s up?” The call connected immediately, and Saki’s cheerful voice was heard. “…I think I’ve been heartbroken…” “Oh, really~… Huh? …Huh!? Heartbroken!? What do you mean!?” Saki’s voice, filled with astonishment, came from the smartphone speaker. At the word “heartbroken,” I felt a tightness in my chest I’d never felt before, so strong it felt like it was squeezing the air out of me, making it hard to breathe. “…Ugh…” “Wait!? Ayaka, are you okay? What happened with Ōtsuki-kun!?” I desperately held back the emotions that felt like they were about to burst.
Saki, although flustered, spoke to me with concern. “…I… my feelings… I liked Haruto-kun so much… so much that I couldn’t hold back anymore… I tried to k-kiss him… but… I was avoi-ded… d…” After that, Haruto-kun started avoiding me, and I couldn’t even talk to him anymore… Just thinking about that time makes me feel a pain that still feels like my heart is going to break. Maybe it would be easier if it just broke already… “Wait, wait! You tried to kiss Ōtsuki-kun? And then you got rejected?” “…Yeah.” “How did Ōtsuki-kun seem at that time?” “…After I tried to kiss him, he was different from usual… he might have become… distant… ugh, ugh.” If I talk about that time any more, my emotions feel like they’ll break… “It seems I was just a customer… I must look like an idiot. Getting so carried away all by myself…” “Ayaka? Calm down a little.” “Haruto-kun didn’t feel anything at all for me…” “Stop! Stop!! Take a deep breath once! Come on, take a deep breath and calm down? Okay, breathe in, and out. Breathe in, and out.” I did as Saki told me, repeating breathing in and out. I don’t want to think about anything anymore… “How is it? Are you calmer?” “…A little…” My emotions are still on the verge of bursting, but talking to Saki did give me a little more room to breathe. “Okay, can I ask for a little more detail?” “Yeah…” I somehow managed to tell Saki about what happened with Haruto-kun, though my words sometimes caught in my throat. Saki, who had listened to my entire story without a word, spoke slowly with a slightly cautious tone. “From what you told me, I think it might be a bit premature to think you’ve been heartbroken?” “Is that… so? But Haruto-kun… avoided… me, you know?” “Hmm. I think there’s a higher possibility that Ōtsuki-kun just chickened.”
“Chickened out?” “Yeah, yeah.” Listening to Saki’s words, I felt as if a tiny ray of light shone into my heart, even if only a little. “I saw you and Ōtsuki-kun interacting twice, during the barbecue and during camping, and I’m sure Ōtsuki-kun likes you.” “But… I was avoided… when I tried to kiss him? If Haruto-kun likes me, wouldn’t that not happen?” “Well, if it was a normal kiss you were avoided from, then maybe there would be a slight possibility of heartbreak.” “A normal kiss? …Is there any other kind of kiss besides normal?” What’s not a normal kiss? I… I wasn’t thinking of doing anything weird to Haruto-kun… “No, no, the situation where you tried to kiss Ōtsuki-kun was when you had him pinned down, right? Kissing in that situation is only for deeply in love couples or romantic comedy protagonists with a knack for getting into unexpected situations.” C-Certainly, at that time… I was sort of on top of Haruto-kun… “You mentioned before, Ayaka, that Ōtsuki-kun has never had a girlfriend, right?” “Yeah…” “Well then, isn’t it understandable that he’d get chicken in that situation? On the contrary, if he had actively come onto you there, I’d feel like he’s too experienced with women.” “I-Is that so? But then, why did he avoid talking to me afterward?” “That’s definitely like-avoidance.” “Like-… avoidance?” Like-avoidance, is that the thing that often appears in romance manga, where you like someone but act distant or cold towards them? Does that really exist in reality? “It’s my guess. Ōtsuki-kun likes Ayaka, and on top of that, you kinda pounced on him, so he became even more conscious of you, and that’s why he avoided you.” “N-No, I didn’t pounce on him, I just accidentally fell on top of him…” “Even if it was an accident, for Ōtsuki-kun, it must have been an event with a considerable impact.” I-Is that so… Then, then… maybe I haven’t been heartbroken yet?
“Think about it from the opposite perspective. What if Ōtsuki-kun suddenly pushed you down, got on top of you, and tried to kiss you?” “W-Well, that…” If at that moment, our positions were reversed, and Haruto-kun had tried to kiss me instead… Just imagining it makes me so embarrassed my body gets hot… but… if the other person was Haruto-kun, maybe I would accept it… Oh, but… Since that would be my first kiss, maybe a more proper, romantic situation would be better… I’d want to brush my teeth too… “I… I might avoid it too.” “See? That’s why you haven’t been heartbroken yet, Ayaka. It’s okay.” Saki said in a cheerful voice, as if encouraging me. With my best friend’s words, my heart felt considerably better from the worst state it was in just now. “I’m not hated by Haruto-kun yet?” “You’re not hated! It’s okay!!” Saki declared clearly. “But… if he’s doing like-avoidance, how should I interact with Haruto-kun from now on?” “Hmm. That is──” Just as Saki was about to give me some advice, a notification appeared at the top of my smartphone screen. Seeing it, my heartbeat quickened by one notch. “Wait, Saki! H-Haruto-kun sent a message!” “Oh? What does it say?” While still on the call with Saki, I checked the message from him with a pounding heart. “Um… it says, ‘Sorry for the late hour. Can we talk about today now?’” “Oh, Ōtsuki-kun reached out himself. Well, should I hang up for now?” “U-Uh, yeah. Sorry.” “Not at all. Okay, I’ll hang up?” Saying that, Saki ended the call. With fingertips that were slightly not obeying due to nervousness, I replied to Haruto-kun’s message. ──Yeah, it’s okay.
I reread the short sentence I typed several times, then tapped send with slightly trembling fingertips. Feeling the ‘shupo’ sound effect strangely loud, I stared at the message I had sent. My heart fluttered slightly when it was marked as read almost simultaneously with sending the message. A few seconds later, a call from Haruto-kun came in. Feeling my heart beating loudly ‘dod-dod-dod’, I tapped the smartphone to connect the call with Haruto-kun. “…Hello?” “Oh, sorry to be contacting you at this hour.” “No, no. It’s completely okay.” I replied, shaking my head. His voice, which I hadn’t heard since we studied together. “Um… about today, there’s something I want to talk about…” Hearing the voice of the person I like from the smartphone, my heart felt joy unconditionally. But at the same time, a feeling of anxiety also welled up from his tone of voice, which felt stiffer than usual. “A-About today… that, that thing, right?” “…Yeah. Yes, that’s it.” Haruto-kun’s voice, slightly stiffened, increased my anxiety. What should I do… if he says he won’t come for housekeeping anymore… O-Or if he tells me he doesn’t want to pretend to be lovers anymore… My feelings that were starting to rise after talking to Saki are trying to sink again. “About that, there’s something I really want to tell you, Ayaka, and if possible, I’d like to meet you in person to talk.” “Me too! I also have something I want to tell Haruto-kun! So… so, I want to meet now.” At Haruto-kun’s words “something I want to tell you,” I couldn’t suppress my emotions anymore, and my mouth moved on its own. “…Understood. Then, I’ll head over there now. Um…” “How about we meet at the park? There’s a park near my house where Ryota often plays. Is that okay?” “Yeah. Understood.” “Alright then… I’ll be waiting.” “Yeah… I’ll hurry.”
Feeling my heart beating strongly against my chest, I ended the call with him. The thing Haruto-kun wants to tell me. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the worst thing for me. If so, my first love will end. Thinking about that, a tremendous fear and sense of loss wells up, enough to make everything go dark before my eyes. But I don’t want this love to end like this. Absolutely not. At first, I craved Haruto-kun’s pure feelings, became greedy… and wished he would confess to me. But the more time we spent together, the stronger my love grew, and now my heart is completely filled with him. It’s absolutely impossible and I don’t want to make these feelings that have grown too big disappear. Even if they don’t reach him, I want to convey them. I like you. What kind of reply will Haruto-kun give me when I say these words… Just imagining it makes me scared, but I don’t want it to end without doing anything… I connected the call with Saki again. “How was it? Did you talk to Ōtsuki-kun?” The call connected immediately, and a worried Saki asked. She must have been holding onto her phone, waiting for me. “I’m going to meet Haruto-kun now.” “Is that so… Ayaka, are you okay?” “Yeah. And you know… Saki, I…” To my kind, reliable, best friend who I can talk to about anything, I conveyed my decision. “I’m going to confess to Haruto-kun.” “!?” At my declaration, I heard a gasp from the other side of the phone. “I’m sorry, Saki. Even though you gave me all sorts of advice… I can’t wait any longer for Haruto-kun to confess to me.” “Why are you apologizing, Ayaka? …I’m the one who’s sorry. Maybe I gave some unnecessary advice. If you had just been honest about your feelings from the beginning, maybe you could have won Ōtsuki-kun over sooner.” Saki’s voice, a little lacking in energy, came through the speaker. At the end of her words, she apologized again, saying “Really, I’m sorry.”
“No, no. I’m really, really grateful to Saki. If Saki wasn’t here, I definitely would have been completely lost. Thank you, Saki.” “…Ayaka.” “Hmm?” “Good luck with your confession!!” “Yeah!!” As if resisting the fear and anxiety that were swelling up, threatening to crush my heart, I nodded firmly in response to my best friend’s encouragement. “Okay, see you. I’m going to meet Haruto-kun!” “Yeah, I’m cheering you on!!” Receiving courage from Saki’s words, I put my smartphone in my pocket and left the room. Then, I headed to the living room. In the living room, Mom was sitting on the sofa reading a book. “Mom, I’m going out for a bit.” “Oh? At this hour?” Mom looked up from her book and looked at me strangely. “Yeah, just to the park nearby… I’m going to meet Haruto-kun.” When I said that, Mom seemed to understand everything and smiled gently. “Is that so… Good luck.” “…Yeah.” Mom’s gentle words of encouragement, which felt like they were embracing my body filled with anxiety and fear. I steeled myself and left the house. To you… I want to convey these feelings. ※※※ The sun had completely set, and the residential area was enveloped in the darkness of night. Haruto ran, out of breath, down the alley wrapped in silence. Because he had been training his body by going to a karate dojo since he was little, he shouldn’t have gotten out of breath so easily. However, now that he was heading towards the park where Ayaka was waiting, his breath immediately became short and his breathing shallow, as if he were doing high-altitude training.
The closer he got to her, the more violently his heart pounded in his chest. From now, regarding the lie he told, he would sincerely and honestly apologize to her. And after that, he would convey the emotions within his heart just as they were. I like you. Those words. To convey his feelings. Thinking about that moment, fear spread in his heart, and an impulse to run away surged. Perhaps because of the heavy rain during the day, the summer night was muggier than usual. Sweat slowly seeped onto Haruto’s forehead as he ran, and his shirt clung to his body. As if to dispel the fear that spread in his heart, Haruto deliberately let out a loud curse. “Ah! Damn it!” He was about to confess to Ayaka, and here he was, covered in sweat, with his hair plastered down, how pathetic. If he could, he wanted to fix his appearance. But, if he stopped for a moment, he felt like the fear would make him unable to move, and because that was scary, he kept running. As he kept running, fighting with his own weakness, his eyes caught sight of the park illuminated by the streetlights. There, Haruto finally slowed his pace and regulated his disordered breathing. “Haa… haa… haa… fuu-… Alright.” Haruto, who let out a deep breath and braced himself, stepped into the night park, which was silent and devoid of children’s figures. Since the park was not that large, Haruto immediately found Ayaka’s figure. She was standing alone beside the gazebo installed in the park. A nearby streetlamp illuminated her from above, like a spotlight. “…Ah.” Ayaka, who had been standing with her head slightly bowed, raised her face with a small voice when she saw Haruto’s figure. Although her expression wavered with anxiety, there was a strength in her eyes that seemed to hold a firm resolve. “Sorry. I made you wait.”
Haruto went to her side at a run. “No, you were really fast, Haruto-kun.” “Because I ran. Thanks to that, I’m drenched in sweat.” The two exchanged light conversation. Haruto and Ayaka gazed into each other’s eyes, closed their mouths for a moment, and then spoke at the same time. “Um…” “Um…” Their words overlapped, and the two closed their mouths again and stared at each other. There, Haruto remembered his grandmother’s words. He had to apologize properly to Ayaka. But it couldn’t be a self-satisfied apology. It was important to listen carefully to what she had to say. When they talked on the phone, Ayaka said she had something she wanted to tell Haruto. In that case, he needed to listen carefully to that story. But more than anything, Haruto wanted to apologize to Ayaka first. That included making her go along with the lie to his grandmother, but in addition to that, he had one more thing he wanted to apologize for. That was running away today. And then avoiding her afterwards. As a result, he had made Ayaka look anxious. Haruto, who was in love with her smile, felt great guilt for having taken that smile away. He wanted Ayaka to always be smiling. Haruto truly felt that from the bottom of his heart. Breaking the silence flowing between them, he slowly opened his mouth. “Um, can I speak first?” “…Mm. Understood.” Ayaka, who replied like that, showed an expression as if she was scared of something, and at the same time desperately enduring it. Seeing her expression, Haruto felt a tightness in his chest, and began to speak slowly, trying to calm his heart. “First of all, I’m sorry.” With those words, Haruto bowed his head deeply. “Today, I ran away from you, Ayaka, and after that… I took actions to avoid you.”
“It, it’s completely fine! It’s not something you need to worry about so much, Haruto-kun. I was also at fault back then… So please raise your head? Okay?” Ayaka urged him to raise his head with a gentle tone, showing concern for Haruto. In response to that, Haruto kept his head bowed for a few more seconds before slowly raising his head and looking straight into her eyes. “Also, I’m sorry for making you go along with the lie. I’m truly sorry for making you act as a fake lover.” “Don’t worry about that either. Being a fake lover was also my request, so it’s not like you’re the only one to blame.” Ayaka shook her head and spoke her words in response to Haruto’s apology. Her voice somehow had a hint of desperation. “But I… took advantage of the ‘couple practice’ and toyed with Ayaka’s feelings playfully.” “No… that’s not right… it’s not like that… that’s not true…” Ayaka continued to shake her head slightly from before. Her expression was so fragile it looked like it might break at any moment, and her eyes were moist. To her like that, Haruto made up his mind and spoke. “Today, I told my grandmother the whole truth.” “…Eh?” At Haruto’s confession, Ayaka opened her beautiful double-lidded eyes wide. “I just couldn’t bear it anymore. With Ayaka, I just can’t anymore…” “W-wait… No… no…” Ayaka’s voice, small and trembling, thin and weak. However, since Haruto was determined to convey his feelings properly until the end, he spoke his words without stopping. “I can’t be a fake lover.” The moment Haruto said that, tears overflowed from Ayaka’s eyes. “H-Haruto-kun… I, I… I…” “Because I like you.” “…………..Eh?” “I like you so much that I can’t stay in this fake relationship anymore. From the bottom of my heart, I’ve become so completely infatuated with you… with Ayaka, that there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Haruto put the feelings he had kept inside his heart into words and conveyed them. Suddenly, his whole body became hot, and his heart felt like it was about to leap out of his mouth. However, at the same time, there was also a refreshing feeling mixed in, and words overflowed from Haruto’s mouth, as if something that had been stuck in his chest had been removed. “I like your smile. How you smile innocently and happily, how you smile gently and softly, how you smile bashfully when you’re shy – all of it looks attractive to me. Also, I like Ayaka’s kindness. How you take care of Ryotakun and act as a Onee-chan. I also like how you’re a bit airheaded. And, I like how you’re surprisingly girly. It’s completely different from how you are at school, and the fact that you’re just a normal girl makes you seem very cute.” Haruto, who had spoken all that in one go, took a breath, then looked firmly into Ayaka’s eyes. After starting his housekeeping job, Haruto met her. Smiling brightly like the sun. Surrounded by a fun and lively family, innocent and airheaded. Having a surprisingly girly side, to such a normal girl. Haruto was captivated and charmed by her beyond all measure. “Everything about you… I like.” Haruto made his first confession in his life. Feeling so nervous that it felt like his own voice was coming from far away, Haruto desperately continued to speak. “I don’t want to be a fake lover anymore… So…” His mouth was getting dry. Even so, Haruto squeezed out the last words of this confession. “Please… become my real girlfriend.” Haruto, who had finished saying the words of his confession, observed Ayaka’s reaction while still feeling his heart pounding so violently it felt like it might break. There, Haruto noticed. That Ayaka’s big eyes were filled with tears, and those tears were flowing down her cheeks one after another. “!? U-um… I’m sorry… that…” At her tears, Haruto became flustered and agitated.
Even though his grandmother had told him ‘Don’t make a self-satisfied apology,’ Haruto realized he had ended up talking unilaterally by himself and intensely regretted it internally, thinking ‘I messed up!’ He was so nervous, something he had never experienced before, that his mind went blank, and he ended up confessing impulsively. To Haruto’s ears, who was restlessly shifting his gaze around without meaning, wondering what to do, a small voice was heard. “…Id…iot…” “Eh?” “…Idiot…” A fragile voice that sounded like it might disappear at any moment. However, those words clearly reached Haruto’s ears. At the same time, despair spread within his chest. He was certainly called ‘Idiot’, which must mean this confession was a failure. Haruto dropped his shoulders and lowered his gaze. As expected, perhaps the school idol doesn’t accept confessions from just anyone… Such a thought came to Haruto’s mind. Then, Ayaka’s following words jumped in. “…Idiot… Don’t do such… misleading things…” “Eh? Misleading?” “I, I completely… thought… Haruto-kun… hated… me.” “There’s no way I would hate you! I truly, from the bottom of my heart, like you, Ayaka!” In response to Ayaka’s words, Haruto raised his voice and desperately conveyed his feelings. In response to that, her cheeks, which had been streaming with large tears until now, suddenly turned red. “…I… like you too.” Ayaka’s words, like a whisper carried by the hot summer night breeze, enveloped Haruto. “I like you… I also, more than anyone… love Haruto-kun!” At her expression as she said that, Haruto lost his words. A bright and dazzling smile, like the sun shining in the night park. Her eyes were moist with tears and shining like jewels. An effervescent expression, as if she couldn’t suppress the surging joy, while her cheeks were wet with tears.
Ayaka’s smile, which contained various emotions, seemed more charming, fantastical, and even mystical than any smile he had ever seen before. No matter what happened in the future, he was sure he would never forget Ayaka’s expression at this moment for the rest of his life. Haruto, who was completely captivated, was sure of that in a corner of his heart. To his ears like that, Ayaka’s words, clear and pleasant, yet filled with warmth, reached him. “Haruto-kun, I also have something I want to tell you. Is that okay?” “Yeah, of course.”
Haruto nodded, his thoughts half stopped by the charming her. Ayaka’s face was dyed bright red, but only her moist eyes firmly captured Haruto, and her voice, which had completely changed from the fragile tone until now, spoke words filled with a gentle yet strong will. “Please make me your real girlfriend.”
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